Dear The Labour Party,
I am a UK citizen. I intend to vote at the next election. I am not aligned to any political party, so like the majority Britain, my vote is still up for grabs.
Whether you have openly said it or not, you know, I know, my chest of drawers know, that Gordon Brown is not going to win the next election. So either you're going to stick with him and guarantee losing, or you'll force him out, elect a new leader and have the slimmest chance of winning.
We all know that it is the latter option that is going to happen.
Currently, the odds are as follows...
Harriet Harman - 3/1
Alan Johnson - 6/1
David Milliband - 7/1
James Purnell - 8/1
Hazel Blears - 80/1
Cherie Blair - 500/1
On behalf of everyone on this planet, please do not elect Harriet Harman as leader of the Labour Party. To be honest, the ammunition it would give bloggers would be immense, however, this would be too much of a good thing. I'd recommend that Mr A. Johnson. He's one of the few likeables you've got left.
Please. (PD falls to his knees), I'm on my knees, begging. Just anyone but her.
Political Dissuasion (on behalf of the UK)
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