He's Hain A Laugh

So Gordon Brown is standing by his Pensions Secretary?

Er, what? How can you stand by him when he's essentially done one of two things:

1) Set up a bogus company/forum through which to channel his fake tan stained cash

2) Allowed his 'staff' to 'siphen' cash which was donated to a - ahem - 'legit' political policy group

Which ever of these oversights it is, it doesn't really matter because he didn't even declare the money. Can Mr Brown really expect all of these rules to be in place but never enforced?

Prime Minister: "I have every confidence that he made no known attempt to..."
Me : "He broke the rules"
Prime Minister: "I've known Peter for..."
Me : "He broke the rules"
Prime Minister: "Look, I think if we all just take a break and stop talking about it for a wee while then..."
Me : "He broke the feckin' rules, sack him, 'off him', make him the skin cancer tsar, I don't care, he has got to go somewhere where he gets paid less, that embarrasses him, and he has to 'think about what he has done' (are the prisons still full?)".

If Brown starts spouting the same rubbish as Scottish Labour, where they they describe Wendy's antics as a sort of 'unintentional criminality', then Brown really has lost all semblance of sense. Because Hain didn't plan on getting caught, does not an innocent man make. He knew what he was doing, we all do.

If you break the rules, you face the punishment. The guy at my work who got caught downloading porn knew that there was a rule against it, did it any way, got caught, got sacked. Easy.

Here's a guide for you Prime Minister...
Phone Peter Hain
Tell him, "I'm sorry Pete, we're going to have to lose you"
If he starts crying, occassionally say "Sorry dude, you ok?" and remind him that tears will make his fake tan streaky.
Get someone to write you a nice, complimentary statement about all he's achieved that you can read out.
Give someone else the job.
Not Ruth Kelly.

Bye Pete.